“mom, would you like a cup of tea?”
I peek into the living room and there she is, fast asleep in her chair. It is what she does most of the time now.
Unless I keep her out of the chair and busy. ( and by busy I mean coloring, or talking on the phone, sitting on the deck, having a cup of tea, her word searches have even become too much for her) Even then it only lasts for a short while and she will be right back to “her spot” and asleep shortly after she arrives there.
Before she started going to day care, she slept a lot and I was concerned about the amount of sleep and lack of stimulation. I wanted her to be doing more, even just swiffer the floor or dusting the furniture. I wanted her to be like she use to be. I wanted so badly to be able to” fix her”.
When she first started going to day care, she would come home exhausted and that was good, after all she was having a full day. That was the point, keep her busy and active and interactive. Make her days more meaningful.
Mom is up early during the week, about 6 usually, she has always had an internal clock and there were times I didn’t have to wake her, lately, though, that seems to be changing. She routinely gets picked up by 7 – ish or so by the day care bus. I have a calendar of events that gets sent home so I know it can often times be a busy day. (guest students come in, or they play games, listen to music, sittercise, and now she even gets her showers there) I love that, it is all so important. I have to be away at work so it is our a perfect arrangement right now. She arrives home at about 3:30 ish. I meet her at the bus to walk her in the house.
“how was your day?”
“oh good, uneventful, really?”
She climbs up the stairs, at least it appears to me that it must feel like a climb to her, a long climb. There are 6 steps (split entry) for her to climb at the end of her day. I’m sure she longs for that spring in her step now. I always walk behind her and sometimes give her butt a little push to help hoist her through that final step.
The dogs are anxiously prancing around for mom to come in and up the stairs, excitedly wagging their tails waiting for the attention and the affection she will show them once she makes it to the top of the stairs.
“hi babies, wait till nana gets in and Ill pet you”
“did you miss nana today?, I missed you too”
As soon as she is at the top of the stairs – we take her coat off and I hang it up, she will shuffle over to her chair, it’s “her spot” (we all remember that relative, and that is how you will always remember them, in their particular spot) . Unavoidably she will groan.
“whats the matter mom?
“oh nothing, my knees don’t want to work.”
shuffling to her chair
“I’ve been sitting all day but I can’t wait to sit”
“thats ok, go ahead and sit”
It really is only a matter of minutes and she will nestle in and pull the afghan (that she made, and it’s beautiful) up over her. She taps the arm of the chair inviting Rookie (the small dog) to join her. More times than not Rookie does and they nap together for a while before dinner.
After her full day, it is an earned nap time.
Poor mom. I can’t help but think that she must be making up for all of those hours of lost sleep from her younger days. First with dad, on occasion they had late nights, then kids, and no one sleeps with young kids, or even during their teenage years. Mom will tell the story about the time dads mom (grandma King) was staying with them for a short while after they were first married and one night when mom and dad arrived home in the wee hours of the morning, grandma King was waiting up and spoke “rather harshly” to mom about “keeping daddy out so late”. Quite funny now, but mom was quite upset, as you can imagine, a new young bride, at the time.
I love the weekends for the simple reason that there is no reason to rush up and out. We can take a leisurely approach to morning.
Most weekends now I will inevitably have to check on moms breathing at least once in the morning. How in the world does she know she can sleep in? (She doesn’t remember what she had for lunch, or even 5 minutes ago – I will never grasp, how, in her sleep, she knows it is the weekend ) Many times she has slept until 10 and that has never been her thing.
“I can’t believe I slept so late”
“I can’t believe you did either, but its okay, its the weekend”
After the normal morning rituals , medicine. coffee and breakfast , Mom will make her way to “her chair”. In the cooler months this is where she is camped for the day, in and out of sleep. In the nice weather I will be sure to get her outside for a while and she usually will find her comfy chair and nap out there too. If here is activity she will “watch and nod” all through it.
She also sleeps anywhere. She has even fallen asleep making gravy a couple of years back. We thought that was funny, because it was unusual.
Rehearsal dinner for Katie and Tims wedding, and some of her loving grandchildren, once again found this to be entertaining.
Who falls alseep during the super bowl?
Sometimes she is just in a zone, almost nodding off and sometimes she is out cold.
Either way and anywhere, she is where we are.
Usually when she falls asleep, she is sitting up and she is leaning her head back so her hair gets matted and sticks up all over and it is so thin. Sometimes I see her in the mirror trying to comb her very thinning hair over her exposed head. I have tried helping by curling her hair, or using special combs to add volume. I have even tried stylish hats.
“I’m not a hat person”
There once was a day when she could whip her hair into a beautiful french twist, throw in a few bobby pins and she looked fantastic. Her hair was thick and darkish. She was always quite meticulous about her appearance.
She can no longer make the effort to see the back of her head. You know how new babies have that bald spot when they are tiny, due to the laying on it, that is the comparison I have.
I try to be sure that when we are going out in public that she looks and feels put together.
Mom is such a beautiful person inside and out.
She is just tired.
Our bodies get tired as we age. All of our parts have been doing what they are suppose to do for , in her case about 90 years.
………….and have served her well.
Our routine after dinner is pretty close to the same every night; mom will look at the clock and try to wait a bit before going to bed.
“I suppose it is silly to go to bed now when it isn’t even 8 o’clock, but I’m tired”
“mom just go to bed if you are tired, you’ll be more comfortable”
“I think I will, I’ll probably read for a bit”
We say our good nights and off she will go.
She doesn’t read.
My bedtime routine has evolved to include a few new things. I will quietly walk into moms room and check her hearing aid, to be sure it is open (saves the battery) then I walk over to her and take off her glasses. Sometimes she will giggle a little.
“I didn’t read much”
“Its okay, mom, I love you, sleep well”
and I kiss her head
“love you too”
she snuggles in under her covers and I turn out her light.